Monday 30 January 2012

My dad on conflict resolution...and moving mountains


Hello readers...so after last week's post on my dad's buried treasure, my mom commented to me on how ridiculous that story was, and that my father was insane for having dug that trench. Well you know what? She's right. That was absolutley insane. But on the crazy barometer of things my dad has said and done over the years, digging a six foot deep, twenty foot long trench around the house does not even come close to the inspiration for this week's post.   

First let me give you a little background about where I grew up (trust me, it will all make sense in the end). So as I was saying, I grew up in the Montreal neighborhood of NDG. NDG is a great place to live, and some of my fondest memories as a kid were of playing in the snow covered backyard. Conversely, some of the worst memories are of the backyard being flooded in the spring-time months by the melting snow, and turning it into a Louisiana style swamp-land. Well, as I mentioned in my previous post, my dad is quite the do-it yourselfer, and over the years has developed a truly ingenious syphon system to drain our backyard of melting snow. As it happens, our backyard was actually the lowest in the neighborhood, so naturally our neighbors were more then thrilled when my dad's syphon would inevitably drain their backyards, leaving ours flooded for the longest period of time. Well my dad is a good sport, and really didn't mind. But as those people who know him best will tell you, my father does not mind doing favors for people, but absolutely hates being taken advantage of. Well this brings me to the topic of this week's post, how my dad deals with conflict resolution, and how he decided to move a mountain.  

Remember our neighbor Roger? He's the guy my dad convinced to help him dig for buried treasure...if you haven't read it already, please read my previous post on my dad's buried treasure...trust me, it is a great story! As I saying, when Roger first moved in, the real-estate agent informed him that the only draw-back to the neighborhood was the fact that the gardens always got flooded in the spring time. Well, seeing as how it was a great house, and NDG is a wonderful place to live, this was seen as a minor inconvenience, and something that could easily be overcome. Well upon moving in, Roger thought he was quite clever, and decided to raise his backyard by a few inches, thus making his higher then ours. My father was naturally displeased by this act, and promptly headed over to introduce himself to his new neighbor, and secondly ask what the hell he thought he was doing, raising his backyard. 

Dad: Hi. 
Roger: Hello. 
Dad: Are you out of your mind? 
Roger: I'm sorry...what do you mean? (naturally a little taken back by my father's forwardness) 
Dad: You raised your backyard over mine! 
Roger: Well yeah, I don't want it to get flooded in the spring. 
Dad: What about my backyard? That means mine will stay flooded the longest! 
Roger: Well that's too bad. I guess you should have thought of raising your backyard too (he thought this was quite funny, given the very difficult nature of the task). 

Those of you who know my dad will tell you one thing...don't taunt the man! He will go to any lengths to prove a point, including moving mountains (you'll see, it all makes sense in a little bit). 

Dad: Is that so? 
Roger: Yes it is. 
Dad: Okay then, we'll see what's what. 

And they promptly parted ways. As luck would have it (and as my mom will tell you, my father is probably the luckiest person on earth) the heavens conspired to help my dad prove his point, and make my brother and mine's life a living nightmare. My father happened to be walking Simba and Paula (the family dogs) by a construction site, and saw the mechanical shovels pulling out tons of black earth. Well my dad, always being on the look-out for a good deal, approached the foreman and asked him how much he wanted for the earth. The foreman was a little taken back by this question, as I'm sure it was the first time someone had approached him to buy earth he was hauling out of a job site. He thought about it for a while, and answered fifty dollars. He then asked my father how much earth he wanted. My father asked him how much a dump truck could hold. The foreman replied, about forty tons or so. Well that was perfect, my father replied, and proceeded to give him the money and delivery address. 

Imagine my mother's surprise as this enormous dump truck pulls up to the house, and my father jumps out of the cab with a yellow construction helmet, happy as can be. Now imagine that surprise turning to shear horror as the dump truck proceeds to back into the driveway and dump forty tons of earth. My mother, being cool-headed as ever, told my dad that she did not want to know what sort of hair-brained scheme he was up to, but that she wanted no part of it. 

So as you've probably figured out by now, my dad had every intention of taking Roger up on his taunt and raising our backyard with forty tons of black earth. When Roger came home that afternoon and saw my father with a wheel-barrow, a shovel and a forty ton mountain of earth on our half of the driveway, he naturally 'inquired' as to what my dad was up to.  

Dad: Just a little light gardening project (with a sly smile on the corner of his face) 
Roger: Okay...(I can only imagine what was going through his mind at the time) 
Dad: I really think it's going to 'raise' the value of the houses around here.  

You see Roger still had no idea what was going on here. But believe me, he sure received an education. What followed next is nothing short of a herculean feat of strength and will. Armed only with three shovels, two wheel barrows, and a make-shift wooden ramp, my dad, my brother and I hauled forty tons of black earth into our backyard over the course of four weekends. He watched in horror as shovel by shovel, barrow by-barrow we raised that backyard over twelve inches, and effectively became the highest backyard on the block. Guess who's backyard doesn't flood in the spring anymore? And guess who's backyard now consistently gets flooded? Oh yeah, it was worth it! 

To this day, it was the most back-breaking labor I have ever done. That experience has taught me, that armed with a little ingenuity, and a whole lot of will power you can do just about anything. So before you go out and taunt my dad with something ridiculous, remember, he does not get mad, he gets even, and nothing is beyond him, not even moving mountains! 

Stay tuned for more. 

Daniel. 

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